Monthly Archives: August 2010

Raiders Win the Super Bowl….. In an e-mail forward.

Here’s an e-mail forward I got from my mom, who was born and raised in Oakland…..

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Oakland Raiders The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn’t find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

“I’ve got to get this guy!” Coach said to himself. “He has the perfect arm!”

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Raiders go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

“Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl!”

“I don’t want to talk to you, the old Muslim woman says.”You are not my son!”

“I don’t think you understand, Mother,” the young man pleads. “I’ve won the greatest sporting event in the world. I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.”

“No! Let me tell you!” his mother retorts. “At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!” The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,

“I will never forgive you for making us move to Oakland !!”


Sacramento Mountain Lions Season Preview

Ok, ok, this isn’t a season preview. Who would take the time to preview the UFL season?! I don’t see myself even viewing, or re-viewing the season, so forget a preview. What I did want to do, though, is check out the roster and see if it’s worth heading out to the stadium and dropping a couple bucks to see Sac’s newest team. We all know about Daunte Culpepper and Dennis Green, after all, they are who we thought they were, but I’m curious who else is on the team. The UFL seems like it’s got to be an RFP hotbed. In the spirit of Doin Work, I’ll go through the roster in real time and share my thoughts on any names I recognize….

Otis Amey – The former San Francisco 49ers return specialist is apparently a Sacramento State alumni. I didn’t know Sac State even produced any pro football players, but Amey had a pretty solid run with the Niners. As a guy with NFL experience, surely he must be a starting wide receiver, opposite….

Antonio Chatman – I definitely recognize the name, but I thought I remembered Chatman on the Chargers, but apparently he never played for them. He spent time with the 49ers, Packers, and Bengals. Maybe I was mixing him up with Reche Caldwell??? Who knows, but a guy who played for multiple teams in the NFL must be a starter in the UFL, right?

Justin Goltz – I’ll be honest, I never heard of this guy before an hour ago. But I was checking the local news and saw this kid was the Mountain Lions’ #1 draft pick recently. They have arguably the biggest star in the UFL – which isn’t saying much – so why would they use their first pick on a backup QB?  You know what, who cares, it’s the UFL.

Chris Perry – Alright, now we’re talking. Perry didn’t do much with the Bengals, and I’m kind of surprised he’s out of the NFL already, but he was the man at Michigan. Depending on ticket prices, I’m thinking you can do a lot worse than seeing Culpepper and Perry in the backfield.

Tom Malone – May very well be my favorite college punter of all time. You may remember when Malone was at USC, he led the nation in yards per punt, but wasn’t eligible since the Trojans rarely punted the ball away. I’m surprised he didn’t last in the NFL, but I can’t wait to see him unleash an 80 yard punt through the thinnest air in the UFL. Oh wait, Vegas might be hotter.

Zeke Moreno – Another former Trojan, I’m a little less surprised he didn’t hang in the NFL. But something tells me he could be among the top linebackers in the UFL. But on a similar note, we could be among the top blogs that nobody’s read, so that doesn’t say much.

Dontarrious Thomas – Man, this guy was a stud in college at Auburn. The Vikings drafted him in the 2nd round in 2004, but he’s been out of the league since ’08. Apparently he led the team in tackles last season down in SF, so he figures to form quite a duo at linebacker with Moreno.

For season tickets to the Mountain Lions call 1-800-UR-TRIPN because no one should be buying season tickets for the UFL. I don’t care if there “as low as $40,” I’ll check out one game and go from there. Hornet Stadium happens to be on my way to work, and I gotta admit, the field looks pretty nice, but I can’t help but expect a high school football atmosphere. Do they even have a marketing department? Shouldn’t somebody be promoting this thing????


This Asian’s Got Hops!

Ichiro has made quite a few home run saving grabs, but none were as impressive as his countryman Masato Akamatsu’s catch saving some runs for the Hiroshima Toyo Carp’s. Fortunately for us, Japanese baseball doesn’t have crazy copyright laws, so this baseball video will stay up!


More to LeBron’s Move to Miami …

Inspired by Chappy’s latest post (see post below this) I have decided to keep up with the “random thoughts” theme, as the world of sports is sloth like to me at the moment.  Stagnant.  So why not combine my fascination for two things I can’t turn my eyes from, and write about it?  

Forget Wade & Bosh, these are Bron's real friends in Miami

It’s been about a month since we were all witnesses to “The Decision”, yet the media still talks about it as if it happened yesterday.  Rightfully so.  My first reaction to his hour long special was, “What a douche!”  I mean, that was about as classy as “The Situation” is from Jersey Shore.  To pick the bigger douche between the two would be a difficult task after that.  His decision to make “The Decision” was a complete train wreck, just like the Jersey Shore shows, but, we were all tuned in.  We love train wrecks don’t we America?  A lot of us were hoping that LeBron would announce he was staying in Cleveland, to fulfill the contrived destiny we create for our stars.  But, some of us were hoping for the opposite.  Some of us were hoping for exactly what happened.  Just like how some of us hope Snooki’s drunk date pukes all over her when she attempts to kiss him.  Tell me you didn’t find it all entertaining.  And get this, now that the Jersey Shore cast has moved to Miami for the second season, wouldn’t it be great if LeBron was the surprise new roomie?  I mean, judging by the way he’s carried himself since the end of last season to now, wouldn’t he fit right in with the orange people?  Bron looks like a total “Juice Head” right?  Is all of this going down like it has, a coincidence?  I’m sure he’s ran into Sitch & DJ Pauley D in Vegas once or twice, they all get along, have a few drinks and then maybe come up with a pact to be casted on a reality show together in Miami.  Pending his other pact to sign with the Heat falls through first, of course.  Would that be impossible?  I think not.  LeBron better not bring “grenades” to the house though.


What do Baseball Trades, Stephen Curry, and Brett Favre Have in Common?

They don’t really have anything in common, it’s just what I felt like rambling about today. I’ve had a stretch of stuff to do, and that didn’t include much blogging. I guess it’s not a bad thing to have too much to do. If only there were more hours in the day! Anyways, it’s been somewhat slow in the sports world lately, but there were some things I felt like I wanted to get my opinion out there on, so skip to whatever interests you.

MLB Trade Deadline: I liked how much action we saw leading up to, and during the July 31st trade deadline. It seemed more active than normal. Everyone is praising the Yankees for their haul of Berkman, Kerns, and Wood.

Not too many poo poo platters this trade deadline... Mr. Hankey Approves!

Sure it’s nice, but I don’t really see any of them making much of a difference. All three of these guys would’ve been nice acquisitions four or five years ago, but now, not so exciting. After this weekend, I think the Rays did just as good by making a small move to get Chad Qualls. Maybe it’s the NY media trying to make everyone believe the Yankees made some genius moves, but I’m not really buying it. For me it comes down to two teams that were the big winners. The Rangers and the Padres made the moves that made the most sense for their teams to get to the playoffs. I won’t include Houston or Arizona, since we don’t really know how the trades will affect them for a few years. The Rangers addressed their biggest need in getting an ace, Cliff Lee. He hasn’t won a lot since he joined the rotation, but he’s saved the bullpen from having to do anything throwing complete games like it’s a AAA squad. They also added Christian Guzman and Jorge Cantu. They plugged up their hole at first base, and also found a replacement for Ian Kinsler since he went to the DL. I loved the meaning behind all three trades. It was especially surprising for a franchise that is bankrupt. Same goes for the Padres who have their layover until new management is in place, and they were also big winners in my eyes. They’ve been nothing short of amazing with the pitching staff and defense, but didn’t have many hitters that you really feared outside of Adrian Gonzalez. I thought they were done when they got Tejada, which MCeezy or me at this point really understand how he fit in. One thing about Tejada though, is if he’s in a good situation, he is going to fire everyone else up around him. Maybe being in the playoff hunt will spark his bat a little too. They also added Ludwick, which I was shocked to hear. Now they have a legitimate guy to put in front of or behind Gonzalez. I think these moves keep them ahead of the Giants in the NL West.

Stephen Curry’s New Team – I’m already ecstatic on the Warriors upcoming season, and adding David Lee to the roster is welcomed after the original shock of losing Anthony Randolph. Proven guy vs. a guy with a seemingly limitless ceiling. I guess you can’t argue with the proven guy that works hard with everything he does. With the new face of the franchise being Lee and Curry it may have moved the Warriors into a good character type of player instead of the me first attitude we’ve had over recent years, Monta, SJax, Baron (at times), Harrington, etc. The reason I started this ramble was that I am pretty pumped to see Curry made the cut for final 15 on team USA. No, not just because of the mancrush I have on him, but for the experience he’ll gain, and how it will help him down the road. I’m not sure he’ll make the final 12 man roster, but either way it’s a great thing for him to be there around some of the elite younger players in the league over the next month. Too bad his new teammate (David Lee) had to withdraw because of his finger, but here’s what should happen to Curry from this experience. A) He gets to play with guys that aren’t in the D-League (Pretty much the Warriors roster for the 2nd half of 2009-10). B) He might not be able to make a pact like the Miami Trio, since the dubs have him locked up for awhile, and hopefully never let him get away. I mean, he could try to make a pact with a guy like Durant, but that’s unlikely, so maybe he could make a pitch to Iguodala or Granger to move over to the Bay when their contracts are up (4 years). C) He gets to learn from Coach K., and hopefully gets some pointers on defense, and maybe learns a trick or two to stop turning the ball over. D) He gets to learn to play the ultimate team game, since winning is the ONLY thing that matters for Team USA. I don’t think I can say the same for a Nellie led Warriors squad that seems to just want to entertain at times. Hopefully when Nellie starts taking vacations in the season, the new owners dump him.

Brett Favre – Weird, he says he’s retiring for a third time, even though we saw him playing catch a few weeks ago with some High Scool kids. It’s a GREAT thing when a rumor comes out, and nobody believes it. Usually there are people on both sides of the fence, but with this one, nobody seemed to really believe he’s actually made his final decision. I guess it’s the ol’ boy who cried wolf. Love or hate the guy, he’s good for the league. I hate the guy, but do want to see him out there. I was giddy during that NFC Championship game. It was great to root for the Saints to pummel him over and over, and fortunately, they did! If he sucked last year like he did with the Jets, nobody would care half as much, and might be believing the rumor. It’s crazy that he’s the one controlling the NFC North. Is he texting to start a gambling conspiracy? The odds jumped quite a bit as soon as it was announced he is retiring, I’m just sayin… I hope it’s not true, because I like to root against him. It’s like Tiger for me, it’s not fun to root against him when he isn’t dominating. Or like my Raiders. Growing up, I would get crap from people all the time (hater nation), but now friends just feel sorry for me after losing for so long. Brett we need you as a villain, so I, like everybody else, don’t believe that you are retiring. Personally, I think it’s just a cop out, so he doesn’t have to go to training camps, and can make the Vikings bend over backwards buying him an armadillo farm to hunt at. Maybe he just likes the attention, but whatever the reason, I have a feeling he already knows what he wants to do, and that will be to play football.