Doin Reviews: Transformers 3

Hope everyone had a good holiday weekend. I spent most of it sick, but still had a good time celebrating our independence. I don’t really go to very many movies in the theatre, but seem to usually hit up a few summer blockbusters since friends seem to like to go to them when it’s unbearably hot outside.

Overall Transformers: Dark of the Moon, was what you’d expect. 70% action, 19% cheesy LaBeouf/Duhmel acting, and 11% plot building, so if I have to give it a grade I’d give it a B. I liked the movie overall, and have been a Transformers fan since I was in diapers. The graphics were spectacular, so if you’re simply into action and graphics it’s a movie you should see, as Michael Bay seems to work magic with the green screens. The plot was actually decent as they used old school events from Roswell to a conspiracy theory of our reasons for landing on the moon before the Russians. I also enjoyed Sam Wikwikki’s (sp?) job hunt, and how he had the I saved mankind and still can’t find a job chip on his shoulder. His new girlfriend, Rosie Huntington Whitley formerly a Victoria’s Secret model, isn’t too hard on the eyes for a couple hours to boot.

On the other side of the coin though I thought it was excessively long  (maybe it was being sick), but my other friends also thought they should’ve shortened it by a good half hour of needless scenes. I totally understand the final battle between the autobots and the decepticons should be longer than all of the other fights, but it felt like the last scene lasted for half the movie. I’m sure the producers were strongly against cutting any of the million dollar CGI scenes that left the Chicago skyline decimated, but c’mon we all know who is going to win! The only other thing I hated about the fighting in the movie is that some of the robots spewed red blood-like liquid when they were struck or shot. Really!?! Robots spewing blood?!? Some spewed out a yellowish liquid when they were stabbed or “cut”, which for some reason makes more sense to me like it was some discolored ani-freeze. Personally I would’ve like to see the transformers just spew black oil instead of colorful liquids, because it seemed like they were trying a little too hard to make the robots look/be more human. If you need to get out of the heat for an afternoon, Transformers wasn’t a bad way to do it.

About chappy81

I'm a dude that just hit 30 years old. Pretty much like everything that is funny, insightful, and has to do with the Warriors, A's, and Raiders. View all posts by chappy81

3 responses to “Doin Reviews: Transformers 3

  • tophatal


    There’s a reason why Hollywood is really bereft of creativity and Michael Bay and James Cameron are two of the biggest reasons why ! Think about it with Cameron and the fact that he produced two of the biggest films in history in terms of commercial success in Avatar and Titanic but there was little plot-line to carry either movie ! It was simply the special effects that made both movies what they are . It’s been the same with the Transformer trilogies (all directed by Bay) and that’s in spite of someone like Steven Spielberg a master story teller and director being associated with all three movies as executive producer . Super 8 is by far a much better movie than this drivel ! But you’re right Huntington Whitely is soothing to on the eye ! Co Brit actor Jason Statham (Transporter Fame) is a lucky basta_d as he gets to nail Huntington Whitely on a nightly basis as she is his better half .

    La Boeuf has stated that he won’t be back for a fourth installment but you know that’s simply bullsh_t because if the price is right he’ll be back as Sam Witwicky . That’s like saying he’s prepared to abstain from sex for six months ………. would you be able to do it ? LOL,LOL,LOL !!!

    tophatal ….

    • chappy81

      Yeah, I thought Avatar was pretty overrated, and was really wondering why people wanted to move to pandora. The one thing I’ll give that movie is that it was an original idea not based on a book. I shouldn’t expect too much from movies that are rated PG-13 I guess, because you know they are geared so kids can watch them.

      I didn’t know Huntington Whitley was taken, damn, one less sugar momma for me to chase…

      • tophatal

        Rosie’s taken alright by fellow Brit Jason Statham an East Ender from London just like myself who has a real love for the ladies ! Need I say anymore on the matter ? I’d drop trou and rifle through Huntington-Whiteley just for the mere pleasure !

        Avatar cost over $500 million and last count took in $2 billion worldwide . For that sort of money you could make several worthwhile films with more credibility and sustenance . But that’s Hollywood for you as they think that the consumer will like anything that they choose to churn out . Rumor has it that after Pts II & III of Avatar Cameron will begin directing pieces of fecal matter and entitle it ‘ This Time I’m Taking A Dump On Hollywood !

        So what’s new with the Rocket ? I hear that he’s questioning the veracity of the government’s case against him. Word to the wise Rocket you don’t lie to the Feds or a member of the family under any circumstance .

        Ten Questions For The MLB Commissioner

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