With the Cam Newton fiasco going on, it made us come up with a new feature and perspective on the blog called What Would Tebow Do? The first installment is about some athlete’s past and present that had accepted money or cheated in one way or another during their collegiate career. Since we aren’t exactly on the up and up ourselves, we thought channeling our inner Tebow to come up with responses or ways these athlete’s should have faced it/done it in the first place. I think this is going to be the first of many What Would Tebow Do posts? Oh, and did I mention that Tim Tebow talks in the third person? Well, now I did.
Tebow on Cam Newton – Of all the allegations that have flown around over the years, this one is probably my favorite. We’ll assume everything is true since rumors don’t just start from nothing. While I don’t condone him or his dad asking for money, and breaking one of the Ten Commandments, I do condone what he was using it for. Saving a house of the lord that is in shambles is a very forgivable sin, and if I could speak for God (which I can at times), I’d hand him my blessings and move on. The only way Tim Tebow lets this one slide is if Cecile Newton is following the other nine commandments.
Tebow on Reggie Bush – Timmy knows that a lot of people think Reggie took the money from an agent, so his family could buy a house. I doubt that was the case though. I know he really just wanted to tell his WWE Diva, Eve Torres and Kim Kardashian “just throw it in the bag!” You don’t get these kinds of high profile celebrity relationships when you’re just a college player with no money. He needed the cash to get the ladies, and that is something Tebow just can’t stand for! Sex before marriage is a sin, and the money he received didn’t help him towards marriage. What would Tebow have done you may ask? He would have impressed the ladies with his god given abilities!
Tebow on former teammate Maurkice Pouncey – What the hell man?!? I bring this program to the pinnacle, and you go off and get paid by an agent while we are about to go to battle in the biggest game of the season?!? Okay maybe not the biggest, because we lost to Bama, but it was the last game in the most storied college career ever… MINE! Sure you may have helped me to that storied career snapping me the ball and blocking every play. I hope it was worth it, because if you waited until after the game this wouldn’t have mattered at all, plus you were picked seven spots ahead of me, why did you need to get paid early? Did you need lap-band surgery before the game or something!?!
Tebow on suing EA Sports – Lots of former college athletes want some money from EA sports, because they were good college players and EA copied their movements and mannerisms into their video game using everything about them, but only recognizing them by their number. I like video games, and played with myself lots of times while leading my Gators to multiple national championships. I didn’t want money from them though. All I really wanted was for my God given talents to provide for me later in life, and low and behold just after signing with the Broncos I sold the most jerseys in the NFL for any rookie EVER! The moral to the story is, let God show you the way.
**For more what would Tebow do, just buy his book, and you will be able to think like Tebow!
November 17th, 2010 at 5:57 am
I feel cleansed.
Wasn’t it during Reagan’s presidency where we considered extending presidential terms to more than eight years? Similarly, I’m surprised the NCAA didn’t pass a rule to allow certain college athletes, a la Tim Tebow, a few extra years of eligibility.
After watching Brantley play this year, I would have been perfectly okay with that.
November 17th, 2010 at 9:39 am
Hahaha, that reminds me of a few friends that ended up being in school for 8 years for their bachelor degrees! I do wonder what would happen if they extended eligibility. Would guys like Tebow stay for 8 years, because he loved college that much?
November 17th, 2010 at 11:58 am
Let’s just say institutions like the University of Florida would most certainly benefit for Chap & Chump’s Extended Stay Program.
I think we’re on to something, sir.
November 17th, 2010 at 2:28 pm
The world would be a much better place if everyone listened to us!
November 17th, 2010 at 6:11 pm
For the record, I want in on your guys’ next e-mail string.
chump@sportschump.net
November 23rd, 2010 at 8:19 am
What Would Timmy Tebow Do (WWTTD) Part I « Doin Work…
Here at World Spinner we are debating the same thing……
November 29th, 2010 at 9:50 pm
chappy
Tebow walks on water and has been known to make sportschump laugh at some of his jokes . Mind you sportschump wasn’t laughing after that beatdown that his Gators suffered at the hands of the ‘noles .
🙂
tophatal …………… 😛
December 14th, 2010 at 8:37 am
I’m a little bit disappointed you weren’t able to make it appear as though that sheep was sucking on Tebow’s nipple.
Meehan
December 14th, 2010 at 10:58 am
I hear Timmy kissed a sheep and I think he liked it!