(Borrowed today, but I had to post it)
Suggested by @AmandaRykoff, also known as “Company Woman Amanda” from the podcast
1. Kobe got all the calls. And his fingers weren’t hurt enough. Or his toes. I don’t know. Kobe sucks.
2. Rondo was banged up, and everyone knows you can’t win a championship with three future Hall of Famers if your fourth-year point guard has muscle spasms.
3. The Lakers stole Gasol! Rip-off trades should only happen when a beloved former power forward becomes the GM of another team.
4. Simmons jinxed us.
5. The tech/ejection/suspension on Rasheed/ KG/Perkins is because the refs are out to get them, not because they’re crazy and/or jerks who have complained about every call ever. (Not gonna lie — Artest doesn’t do well in this category either. But at least we only got one crazy).
6. If we aren’t going to get a 38-to-10 free throw advantage like we did in Game 2 of 2008, how does anyone ever expect us to win?
7. Wait, they’re still playing? I jumped off the bandwagon last year. OK, I’m back! I never bailed! Celtics forever! What? They lost? Why does this always happen to me?
8. Fisher is a dirty player. That’s KG’s move!
9. Gasol flops too much. That’s KG’s move!
10. Pierce got confused on which injury to fake.