As I read Simmons plea for Blake Griffin to run and hide from the Clippers, which probably isn’t the worst idea for him on the day of the NBA draft, I pondered what a list of the worst franchises of all time would look like. It’s not hard to think of a lot of really crappy teams, but narrowing that list down is tricky. The fields accounted for are; what they’ve done over their whole franchise’s history and to their fans. According to business journal in 2008 the worst five rated franchises (NBA, MLB, NFL) from worst to best of the worst were: Detroit Lions, Memphis Grizzlies, Pittsburgh Pirates, Minnesota Timberwolves, and the St. Louis Rams. Financially I couldn’t agree more, because I don’t know their books or care to.  However, I do believe that some of the teams listed abouve are trying to do the right thing for their franchise. Well, atleast enough to stay out of the top five worst on my list.

#5 Memphis Grizzlies -They’re trying to make it to the Clippers status, but it’s tough to make up all those losing seasons that the Clips have on them. Their first four years yielded them a total of 56 wins in Vancouver, so why not move to Memphis! That move, coinciding with dreadful drafts have doomed the franchise to the depths that they are currently in and will be in for some time to come. Even this year with the second pick, they may have to settle for a role player since there is no clear instant NBA impact player in that spot. I’m sure this draft will yield them their next Big Country Reeves. When they do have a good player, they find a way to trade them for a poo poo platter of players and draft picks that they will eventually mess up on! I’m not just referring to the Gasol trade last year, but they also traded away Mike Bibby and Steve Francis just before their primes! Is OJ Mayo the next?

#4 Pittsburgh Pirates – Well, they have a nice park, and well, that’s about the only exciting thing that’s happened to them over the past 17 years. Since 1992, the Pirates haven’t had one winning season, and it doesn’t appear that one is coming anytime soon. They are now the proud owners of the longest string of losing seasons by any team in MLB history! Is it the curse of the Killer B’s (Bonds and Bonilla)? My guess is they are cursing themselves by continually trading players for prospects and never really letting any player play for any part of their prime.

#3 Los Angeles Clippers – Not only do they make the worst decisions possible, but every time they make a decent one it never works out. Their .365winning percentage in the Donald Sterling era shows their inability to make a streak of good decisions. He’s more interested in what prostitute’s he’s bringing to the game that night than who is on the court for his team. The dwindling fanbase has gone into a depression that may not be shakeable until they decide to move to their fourth location. The seats have been emptier and emptier as the seasons go by, except when the Lakers come to town to play them… I think Billy Crystal even stopped his season tickets this past season (don’t quote me on that, maybe he just didn’t go very much).

These Kids are lucky they don't know how bad their team is yet!

#2 Kansas City Royals – Owner David Glass should give the name “owner” an apology. He likes to play the small market victim card whenever he can, but he is always the first person in line begging to receive some of the revenue sharing from the commish. They never re-sign a star, and never puts a team on the field that is remotely competitive. Any team that averages a whopping 96 losses per season may as well make their vacation plans for October in April! There should be someway to kick out owners out of a league if they aren’t don’t even trying.

#1 Detroit Lions – It’s hard to pick exactly where to begin, but they capped off the number one spot with the first 0-16 season in NFL history, and only one playoff win since 1957 just shows the meaning of their sucktitude. It takes talent to construct these aweful teams. It must be fun for them to constantly have fans on the edge of their seats and brown bags over their heads wondering what terrible decision their franchise will make to set them back (insert amount of years). This continual three to five year re-building plan  just makes me feel happy that there are people messing up franchises more than Al Davis is for my Raiders.