Author Archives: mceezy

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I Do……… Not Ever Wanna See You Again!

Proper planning is key to a successful wedding ceremony.

Proper planning is key to a successful wedding ceremony.

BERLIN (Reuters) – A Polish couple living in Germany fell out after tying the knot and decided to end their marriage on the same day.

“He said he never wanted to see her again and wanted an immediate annulment, and she said the same thing,” a spokesman for police in the northern city of Hanover said Thursday.

Right after the civil ceremony Wednesday, the 50-year-old man began arguing with his bride and tried to cut her hair with a kitchen knife, police said.

The 34-year-old woman called police, who issued the man with a restraining order, which he readily accepted, police said.

Two attempts at a rapprochement later that evening by telephone ended in more shouted exchanges before the man went to spend his wedding night in a local shelter for homeless people.

Better late than never! Although I think any time you take a knife to your bride’s mane, that’s a relationship that has the spark and intensity to last a lifetime.  This restraining order and divorce surely won’t be the end of them.  I’m willing to bet they get married (and possibly divorced) again some day.  Although the next marriage may be more likely to end in a murder trial rather than an annulment.  Glückwünsche!


Nerd Of The Week

Man, there are so many comedic elements in this video.  From the unintended sexual inuendo, to the kid getting male and female mixed up, down to the fact that he bares resemblence to the fat boy scout duck from Duck Tales, I never thought I could sit through 3.5 minutes of some nerd talking about his homemade NERF gun.  The worst part is, he never even demonstrates it working!  Shoot a goddamn foam ball or something!  I like how he explains that the leak was made on purpose, going so far as to call it a “safety valve.”  Yeah, I meant to crack that tube.  Anyway, pay close attention toward the end when he starts talking about shooting zombies.  He was hunting two of them, but they got hungry and went to get food so the game was over.  Speaking of food, good segue into the fact that he hasn’t eaten in 12 to 14 hours.  Is that how long he spent making that PVC concoction?  I could’ve hammered that out in 20 minutes.


NBA Draft Reactions – California Edition

The 2009 NBA Draft featured something we haven’t seen since 1998: Three California teams picking in the top 10.  That year was highlighted by the Sacramento Kings’ selection of Jason Williams, an unfortunate swap of Vince Carter of Antawn Jamison (which didn’t really turn out that bad) and a Clippers’ pick we’ll touch on in a minute.  Once again this year, the San Diego Clippers chose first, the Kings picked fourth, and the Golden State Warriors held the 7th selection.

Los Angeles Clippers #1: Blake Griffin, Oklahoma

From the producers of Michael Olowokandi, in came the consensus #1 pick.  I’ve been a long-time skeptic of Blake Griffin.  This past season, I was finally sold on Griffin being a solid all-around player.  He’s been dubbed as the “can’t-miss” selection of the draft.  What I’m not sold on is him becoming a great player.  Most will agree he’ll be a “long-time NBA starter.”  What that will translate to, I’m not sure.  All we can go on is the facts.  They are the Clippers.  Elton Brand managed to lead the Clippers to one postseason berth in his time in LA.  He set the bar pretty high.  I’m not sure if Griffin can lead them to the postseason, but they do also have Baron Davis, Zach Randolph, Eric Gordon, and Al Thornton.  Problem is, the losing culture of the franchise will overshadow all, including Griffin’s performance.

Sacramento Kings #4: Tyreke Evans, Memphis

Local sentiment favored Ricky Rubio, for the simple fact that many around here saw him as the next coming of Jason Williams.  J-Will didn’t single-handedly turn the franchise around – he had some help – but he was probably the most responsible for generating excitement and fan support.  It seemed like a match made in heaven.  Sac needed a point guard, and Rubio wanted to come here.  The Kings, however, instead opted for Evans.  I have to agree with the pick.  I have stated for a while now that Evans probably has the most star potential in this year’s draft.  How he’ll work out at PG I’m not sure, but he gives the Kings a much-needed scoring threat.  While I definitely see them improving on their impressive 17 win total from a year ago, the possible outcomes are many.  His production will constantly be compared with Rubio’s, as many will wonder what could’ve been.

Golden State Warriors #7: Stephen Curry, Davidson

I have wondered for a long time if Curry would be able to succeed at the elite level.  I’m still not sure if he can.  He impressed everywhere he worked out leading up to the draft, but many of those workouts are based largely around shooting displays – something we know Curry exceeds at.  The Warriors’ front office proclaims that he is the perfect fit for their system.  His game is so similar, yet different from Monta Ellis.  He does give them a much needed shooter.  Regardless of what happens, I love this pick for two reasons.  He’s not Jordan Hill, who was probably the W’s backup choice.  Second, I loved it simply for the reaction it got from Knicks’ fans.  I loved seeing their player get snatched up right before their pick, and then watching them settle for Jordan Hill.  Many thought Curry would be dealt, most likely to Phoenix.  However, Don Nelson today stated on the record that Curry could “unpack his bags, even buy a house,” because he “ain’t going anyplace.”  Problem is, Nellie’s word doesn’t carry much weight.

Los Angeles Lakers #59: Chinemelu Elonu, Texas A&M

Does it really even matter?


Corey Maggette’s Dream

I might be the only Warriors fan that likes Corey Maggette.  Despite being in attendence for his low point in Oakland, going something like 2-12 from the line and getting booed throughout the game, I still like him.  Is he my favorite player?  Far from it.  But I feel like you knew what you’re getting when we signed him, so no one should be surprised.


Who Should Start For The NL?

The MLB All-Star Game is less than a month away, thus kicking off one of my favorite pastimes…. speculating who will be the starting pitchers for each league.  It probably has to do with the fact that the A’s usually have someone in the running – Josh Outman is 2nd in BAA!  All kidding aside, it’s the NL that has me intrigued this year.  There are five distinct candidates; few could argue that.  Although I certainly don’t consider it to be the end all gauge for pitchers, look no further than the NL ERA rankings to find these five.

The first guy I rule out is Johnny Cueto.  To be honest, I wouldn’t even include him had I not known he has the lowest ERA.  His numbers are solid, but the 6-4 record is far from sexy and let’s be real, we just don’t hear a lot about this guy.  He’s pretty much this year’s version of Edinson Volquez, and look where that got him.

The next guy I rule out is Matt Cain.  A friend actually told me today he thought Cain is the front runner right now.  His reasoning was that Cain leads the league in complete games (three), wins (nine), and is third in ERA.  All good points, but I see some things that cancel those out.  The glaring fault I see is his K:BB ratio.  68 Ks to 34 BBs.  That’s 2:1 folks.  Not only is that obviously the worst among these five guys, he’s also got the worst BAA and WHIP, not to mention the least amount of innings pitched.  That 9-1 record looks a lot luckier to me now having said that.  I’m happy for the guy though.  He’s had notoriously poor run support the last few years, so it’s good to see him make up a few wins.

The other three guys, in my opinion, all deserve it, but I reluctantly cross out Chad Billingsley next.  I’m a pretty firm believer in the old practice of taking the best pitcher on the best team.  Billingsley and the Dodgers are that.  His 9-3 record helps, but the numbers just don’t stand out above the rest of the group.  A lot of his numbers, in fact, are similar to Lincecum’s, but Timmy comes out ahead in just about every category.  Billingsley has also walked the most batters, however his 93 Ks keep his ratio out of Matt Cain territory.  Aside from the win-loss records, choosing Billingsley over Lincecum just can’t be justified.

Speaking of Lincecum, I like him a lot for the fact that he’s the reigning Cy Young winner.  Sure, that’s reflective of last season, but to me, that makes him the defending champion i.e. the “top guy.”  He’s got 10 more Ks than the next guy on this list and his overall numbers are solid.  That win total of six might be his undoing though.  To his credit, I can see at least three starts that should’ve/could’ve ended in wins.  I would give the nod to Lincecum if it weren’t for……

Dan Haren.  Has a 5-4 pitcher ever been named the starter for the All-Star Game?  There’s a good chance the answer is no.  But, if you take a look at how he got to 5-4, you quickly realize he is FAR better than the record indicates.  He has four starts where he went 6+ innings (7 in three of them) and only gave up 1 run.  With any reasonable offense, he would be 9-2.  Beyond the wins and losses though, you’ll find superior numbers.  His 2.20 ERA is second only to Cueto, and he is head and shoulders above all these guys in WHIP (0.81) and BAA (.181)  Those numbers are unreal!  You know what else is unreal?  90 Ks to only 13 walks.  That’s 6.92 K:BB people!  Throw in 94 IP – second only to Josh Johnson‘s 98 – and Haren is the clear cut favorite for the All-Star Game start.  The best part is… there’s still a month to go and this race could have five completely different guys!

NL All-Star Starting Pitcher?

NL All-Star Starting Pitcher?


Guess This Photo of Kobe and Lebron is Pretty Fitting

Do you see what I see?

Lebron, tell me how my dick taste!


No More Magic

Stan Van Gundy watches his season come to and end during Game 5

Yes, I’m writing off the Orlando Magic. If you’ll recall, I wrote them off before the NBA Finals started. I felt that they lacked the mental toughness to pick themselves up off the mat after any knockout blows delivered by the Lakers.  So far, I’ve been right.  The Magic have played a surprisingly solid series, with the exception of game 1, but all they have to show for it is a 3-1 deficit.  Any hope of having the slightest chance to make a series of this went away quicker than a Jameer Nelson closeout in game 4.  The question now, isn’t whether the Lakers will win the series, but rather when.  I’m pretty confident it’s going to be tonight.  As much as I would love to see the Magic push this series back to Los Angeles, it’s not happening.  Orlando knows it has no chance of winning this series anymore.  Although I’m a fan of guys like Dwight Howard, Hedo Turkoglu, Rashard Lewis, Mickael Pietrus, Jameer Nelson, Rafer Alston, etc… I’m not expecting anything beyond a lay down and fold effort tonight.  Typically, this is where a team that’s down comes out and gives it everything they’ve got just to live to see another day.  Not this team.  You’ll see.  They know if they pulled out a win tonight, they’ll be rewarded with an all-expenses paid trip to Los Angeles to get dismantled in front of a hostile Staples Center crowd.  They know they’re better off suffering a scrappy 7 point loss on their home floor then going back to LA to get blown out by 30.  Well, it’s tipoff time.  Don’t say I didn’t call it.


Doin Work Fantasy Football 2009 Mock Draft

The most comprehensive fantasy football mock draft this side of espn or yahoo.   Here’s who we’d pick and why….

ROUND ONE

#1 Drafting Under the Influence – RB Adrian Peterson, Minnesota Vikings

This isn’t even a decision in my mind. He’s a threat every play to go the distance, and even when it looks like he’s stuffed he can break off a Barry Sanders-esque escape. Nobody is surprised when he puts up 200 yards and a score or two! His skill set is off the charts and better than every other RB in the draft. He vowed to come back this season bigger and faster, definitely scary for any of the competition he’s about to run over!

#2 TD’s Are My Forte – RB Michael Turner, Atlanta Falcons

Love having the 2nd pick, Turner is a no-brainer choice for me here. Atlanta has a dynamic offense which makes keying the run more difficult, and we know what Turner is capable of doing. I project him not only matching his offensive numbers last season, but slightly increasing them. Until I see Maurice Jones-Drew in a full time role, he doesn’t pass Turner here. Should be interesting to see who is left on the board on the way back in the 2nd round.

#3 Who Shot Plax? – RB Chris Johnson, Tennessee Titans

Titans have always been built as a run-first offense, as  Conservative is Jeff Fisher’s middle name.  Don’t quote me on that, could be Fred for all I know.  As the Titans continue to employ a sub-par passing game, the two back system will flourish, and Johnson will receive the bulk of the carries on 1st and 2nd down.  I was impressed with his receiving game as well last year, a great target with much better than average hands, shiftiness, and speed.

#4 White Russians For Breakfast – RB Deangelo Williams, Carolina Panthers

Looking at my options on the board, I’m intrigued by both DWill and MJD.  I’m a bit hesitant about SJax, LT, and BWest in their current situations, Sjax on a shitty team, LT running close to empty (?) and Westbrook having surgery on his foot.  I like Deangelo because they looked for extra ways to get the ball in his hands in the Wildcat and I think he’ll have a decent receiving year.  A few vultured goalline carries will be made up in other areas like long runs and perhaps a passing TD or two this year.

#5 No More Madden For Me – RB Maurice Jones-Drew, Jacksonville Jaguars

I wasn’t happy about sitting at five, you typically watch the 3 sure fire running backs get picked, and are left with about 5 different players who all have there pros and cons (this years crop includes Steven Jackson, LT, Westbrook, Gore, and Portis). But holy smokes does a gift fall to me with Maurice Jones-Drew. With the featured role in the back field all his, and the experts putting him at 2 at worst 3 on there boards, I feel like I get a big time break here. More then likely I will be looking to match a catch happy MJD with a top tier wideout in the next round. Continue reading


Kings Get In A Relationship For The Hell Of It

The Sacramento Kings have had many boyfriends aka coaches over the years.  There was their first kiss Jerry Reynolds, the one-night stand Bill Russell, the older man Dick Motta, their first real relationship Garry St. Jean, and their first black guy Eddie Jordan.  Then came Rick Adelman.  The two were together for eight magical years and many thought they would spend the rest of their lives together.  The Kings went from undesirable to Prom Queen (ahem, King) during their time with Adelman.  Then they got greedy.  Thinking they were hot, they ditched Adelman in hopes of doing better.  There was the rebound Eric Musselman but his drinking and jealousy became too much.  Then they went for looks by getting involved with Reggie Theus.  Ultimately, that didn’t work out either.  After messing around with Kenny Natt for a few months, the Kings found themselves single and unwanted again.  Not wanting to spend the upcoming season alone, it was time to find a new man.  At this point, the Kings have been around the proverbial block a few times.  They’re not the bombshell they used to be.  The options are not as plentiful as they once were.  They basically had just three prospects who would possibly take them, once Eddie Jordan wisely decided he had been there, done that.  Tom Thibodeau wisely deleted the Kings number from his cell phone, realizing they would never work out.  Kurt Rambis was not ready to give up his much hotter and wealthier woman to get involved with the Kings.  That left just one guy…. Paul Westphal.

The Kings are now like that friend you have that’s in a relationship, even though you know they aren’t meant to be together.  They clearly just don’t want to be alone, or spend the time looking for a better partner.  You know who I’m talking about.  We all know them.  We all know the Kings should’ve married their high school sweetheart, Adelman, but he’s happily engaged to an Asian now, so he would never be stupid enough to leave that.  Westphal and the Kings are now an official couple, but we’ll see how long before one finds greener pastures and let’s the other go.  It’s only a matter of time.


Glamorous Lifestyle!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tha Jacka featuring Dre Dog.  Yay Areaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!


Jack In The Box Stoner ORIGINAL

this one is classic…


For Everyone Who Just Got Paid!

Happy Friday night!!!


Greatest College Basketball Team EVER

Back to back National Champions…. 60 game win streak…. and Bill Russell.   “The second best team in the country was USF’s second string”


If You Don’t Know, Now You Know…

Many people haven’t seen this movie.  You’re trippin.  It’s a classic.  Behold….


Do The Magic Have a Chance to Win the NBA Finals?

Howard put up 40 en route to a series clinching win on Saturday

Howard put up 40 en route to a series clinching win on Saturday

Most would agree that the Orlando Magic have looked like the best team thus far in the NBA Playoffs.  The problem is, that can, and often does, all change when you step on the court with the Lakers.  Prior to Game 6, I was questioning whether Dwight Howard could be the centerpiece of an Orlando offense that seems to live, and occasionally die by the three.  Saturday night, Howard proved he could be a force inside on more than just open dunks and second chance points.  Even in doing so, however, the Magic still jacked up 29 three pointers.  That’s great when they’re going in, but the problem with the Lakers is they will bury a team, more so than any other squad, when the threes are not falling.  Look no further than Game 6 of the Western Conference Finals.  The Nuggets converted a fairly solid 8-19 from beyond the arc, but the missed attempts seemed to stand out.  That is ultimately what did them in Friday night.

The Lakers have an uncanny ability to stick to their game plan.  Thanks to the presence of Kobe Bryant – who I still can’t help but to concede is still the best player in the league – they never seem as flustered as anybody else.  Even without any standout shooters of the same caliber as Rashard Lewis, Hedo Turkoglu, Mickael Pietrus, and even Rafer Alston, they boast an impeccable balance of size, speed, length, and basketball IQ that it would be surprising if they lost more than two games in the upcoming series.  Can the Magic match up with Bynum, Gasol, and Odom down low?  I just can’t see that happening.  What happens if Howard gets in foul trouble?  I have a hard time seeing Gortat patrolling the paint and doing anything defensively to slow the Lakers on the block.  I never thought I’d say this, but Adonal Foyle could be a key x-factor in the championship series.  Problem is, Foyle has logged a total of 4 minutes the entire postseason.  However, the Magic will need all the big bodies they have, and Stan Van Gundy doesn’t seem likely to call on Foyle off the bench.  There’s probably a reason for that.

You won’t ever hear me call Phil Jackson the best coach in the league – I’m of the crowd who chalks his success up to having great players.  But you can believe he will have his team defending the three-point arc without any lapses.  The key guy in this series, and not many people would see this the same way, will be Courtney Lee.  Lee has shown a supreme mastery of the ever popular mid-range jumper.  With LA likely having one or two big men locked into the paint and the other guys firmly planted around the three-point line, it will be imperative for Lee to dominate the 15-20 foot area.  The Magic must set an unofficial Finals record for most pump fakes and pull up jumpers to have any chance in this series.  I just don’t know if guys like Turkogu and Pietrus will be able to stray from their three point dependancy.

THE KEY ASPECT I look to in the postseason is, for lack of a better word, swagger.  What I mean by this is having players who have the mental toughness to go for the jugular and not get rattled when the other team is making a run.  The Lakers have this. They always have.  Sure, they’ve looked far from immortal this postseason, but we all know when it’s on the line, they’ll bring their A game.  Any time you have Kobe on the floor with you, you know the game is always within reach and there’s no reason to panic or get scared.  The Celtics were able to counter this thanks to the presence of Kevin Garnett.  The Magic don’t have a guy like this.  Looking up and down their roster, I don’t see many guys who can keep their composure when the Lakers are laying it on thick.  I’ve seen guys like Turkoglu and Pietrus crumble in big situations.  If Chauncey Billups and Carmelo Anthony couldn’t do it, how can they?  Orlando will need flawless execution and resiliancy to pull this one off.  If they can survive the Staples Center and come away with a split, perhaps we can believe in them in a little bit.  But there’s no way they will win a Game 5 or 7 in Los Angeles, so they definitely have their work cut out for them.  Needless to say, I don’t see it happening.

Lakers in 4. ….maybe 5.

Might as well add 2009 to this

Might as well add 2009 to this