I checked out some random basketball team’s site to see the hype over whatever new player(s) they acquire. One thing lead to another….. And next thing you know, I’m checking out every team’s site to see what they’re offering at this juncture of the offseason. Time to depart….
I had to get out of Sacramento, where they’re resorting to an image of Lebron, D-Wade, and Bosh. I was hoping for some more hype about Demarcus Cousins, or maybe even more Tyreke. Instead, they’re trying to get people to sign up and buy the “Lebron Quarter Season” package…..
First stop will be the Golden State Warriors. Naturally, the main billboard is “Warriors Acquire David Lee,” and I’ve got to admit the interview with Lee sort of made me a believer. The trade seemed a little lopsided, but once I remembered they’ll still have Curry, Monta, and Biedrins playing with Lee, I’ll be alright.
I guess it’s better that they take the high road and not even acknowledge it, but the Lakers were the one team I was hoping would have something up about Miami. Something like a big graphic saying “We Still Have Kobe” with five championship trophies behind him. Instead it’s business as usual…. Oh yeah, the Clippers are here too. Ah, seems as though they’ve picked up Ryan Gomes and Randy Foye. *yawn*
Time to head east on the 10 and see how Phoenix is holding up without Amare. They have a nice Thank You on there for him, but it’s okay because We locked up Channing Frye for five years!!!”
Not much going on in San Antonio (as usual), Houston, or New Orleans, so we’ll veer north toward Dallas and Oklahoma City. Dallas is, not surprisingly, all about keeping Dirk. Only problem is, didn’t they already? Someone update the site! Meanwhile, in OKC, there’s an Anti-Lebron being born. Kevin Durant basically proposed to the Thunder franchise and the state of Oklahoma. The honeymoon is in full force….
I really enjoyed my time in Atlanta where the message is simple: “JOE’S BACK”
Much like with the Lakers, I was hoping Orlando would have some sort of Bring It type fodder. It’s not much to get excited about aside from some pretty good jabs from Magic GM Otis Smith….
Of course we have to stop by Miami. Yes. We Did, but we don’t have any season tickets right now so buy some jerseys!
The Wizards are all about recruiting ROOKIE Season Ticket Holders to go with ROOKIE John Wall. Buy season tix and get an autographed Wall basketball, and a chance to win a trip for two to Wall’s first road game. They even have a “WALL: Gamechanger” logo…..
Heading North, New Jersey was supposed to be a major player this offseason. Wonder what they’re up to….. Oh Snap! They signed Johan Petro! If they can lock up Sean May next, they’ll be a lock for 15 wins….
Pretty excited to see what’s going on in NYC, where they’ve added Amare Stoudemire, along with Anthony Randolph, Ronny Turiaf, and Kelenna Azuibuke. The Amare billboards are pretty awesome. I’m literally looking at flights to New York right now so I can see what kind of Amare propoganda they’ve got around Manhattan!
Definitely not tryna go to Boston or Philadelphia, and DEFINITELY not going all the way up to Toronto to see how they’re coping with Chris Bosh’s departure. Word is they’re reminding fans about Demar Derozan, and they’re pretty excited about signing Amir Johnson to a long term deal. They’d better draft another superstar like Bosh or Vince Carter realllll soon…..
There’s only really two noteworthy places to stop on the way back. The first one is Chicago. Of course you know they finally got Carlos Boozer, who they’ve rumored to have been after for years. On top of that, they’re addig Kyle Korver and perhaps JJ Redick as well. And just in case you forgot, there’s a little reminder that they also still have a fellow named Derrick Rose….
Last stop: Cleveland. Man, they’re trying so hard to make it look like nothing happened, there is literally NOTHING HAPPENING. Easily the most boring NBA team site ever. Sure, Lebron’s gone, but the burgers are still great over at Cadillac Ranch Bar & Grill!