
Lebron, tell me how my dick taste!
What a tool. When your kid is smarter then you are, going on national TV and proving it is just plain dumb!

Yes, I’m writing off the Orlando Magic. If you’ll recall, I wrote them off before the NBA Finals started. I felt that they lacked the mental toughness to pick themselves up off the mat after any knockout blows delivered by the Lakers. So far, I’ve been right. The Magic have played a surprisingly solid series, with the exception of game 1, but all they have to show for it is a 3-1 deficit. Any hope of having the slightest chance to make a series of this went away quicker than a Jameer Nelson closeout in game 4. The question now, isn’t whether the Lakers will win the series, but rather when. I’m pretty confident it’s going to be tonight. As much as I would love to see the Magic push this series back to Los Angeles, it’s not happening. Orlando knows it has no chance of winning this series anymore. Although I’m a fan of guys like Dwight Howard, Hedo Turkoglu, Rashard Lewis, Mickael Pietrus, Jameer Nelson, Rafer Alston, etc… I’m not expecting anything beyond a lay down and fold effort tonight. Typically, this is where a team that’s down comes out and gives it everything they’ve got just to live to see another day. Not this team. You’ll see. They know if they pulled out a win tonight, they’ll be rewarded with an all-expenses paid trip to Los Angeles to get dismantled in front of a hostile Staples Center crowd. They know they’re better off suffering a scrappy 7 point loss on their home floor then going back to LA to get blown out by 30. Well, it’s tipoff time. Don’t say I didn’t call it.
The most comprehensive fantasy football mock draft this side of espn or yahoo. Here’s who we’d pick and why….
ROUND ONE
#1 Drafting Under the Influence – RB Adrian Peterson, Minnesota Vikings
This isn’t even a decision in my mind. He’s a threat every play to go the distance, and even when it looks like he’s stuffed he can break off a Barry Sanders-esque escape. Nobody is surprised when he puts up 200 yards and a score or two! His skill set is off the charts and better than every other RB in the draft. He vowed to come back this season bigger and faster, definitely scary for any of the competition he’s about to run over!
#2 TD’s Are My Forte – RB Michael Turner, Atlanta Falcons
Love having the 2nd pick, Turner is a no-brainer choice for me here. Atlanta has a dynamic offense which makes keying the run more difficult, and we know what Turner is capable of doing. I project him not only matching his offensive numbers last season, but slightly increasing them. Until I see Maurice Jones-Drew in a full time role, he doesn’t pass Turner here. Should be interesting to see who is left on the board on the way back in the 2nd round.
#3 Who Shot Plax? – RB Chris Johnson, Tennessee Titans
Titans have always been built as a run-first offense, as Conservative is Jeff Fisher’s middle name. Don’t quote me on that, could be Fred for all I know. As the Titans continue to employ a sub-par passing game, the two back system will flourish, and Johnson will receive the bulk of the carries on 1st and 2nd down. I was impressed with his receiving game as well last year, a great target with much better than average hands, shiftiness, and speed.
#4 White Russians For Breakfast – RB Deangelo Williams, Carolina Panthers
Looking at my options on the board, I’m intrigued by both DWill and MJD. I’m a bit hesitant about SJax, LT, and BWest in their current situations, Sjax on a shitty team, LT running close to empty (?) and Westbrook having surgery on his foot. I like Deangelo because they looked for extra ways to get the ball in his hands in the Wildcat and I think he’ll have a decent receiving year. A few vultured goalline carries will be made up in other areas like long runs and perhaps a passing TD or two this year.
#5 No More Madden For Me – RB Maurice Jones-Drew, Jacksonville Jaguars
I wasn’t happy about sitting at five, you typically watch the 3 sure fire running backs get picked, and are left with about 5 different players who all have there pros and cons (this years crop includes Steven Jackson, LT, Westbrook, Gore, and Portis). But holy smokes does a gift fall to me with Maurice Jones-Drew. With the featured role in the back field all his, and the experts putting him at 2 at worst 3 on there boards, I feel like I get a big time break here. More then likely I will be looking to match a catch happy MJD with a top tier wideout in the next round. Continue reading
Players have been going to the DL more and more over the past few seasons for some very curious reasons. Many cite emotional distress, which
claimed Joey Votto. He recently missed five games due to dizziness related to an ear-infection. When he returned to the lineup, he thumped two homers against the Indians on May 23rd. A week later he met with the GM and Votto left the club. He has been on the DL since May 30th due to “stress-related issues”. Votto’s absence has the team hoping that he will figure himself out, they are giving him as long as he needs to come back to the Reds in the right mental state.
This isn’t an isolated incident; Dontrelle Willis got a lot of scrutiny
league wide for his sudden leave of absence claiming emotional distress and heading to the DL. Same thing happened with Khalil Greene, Zack Greinke, and Scott Kazmir. Many have questioned the timing of these “anxiety disorders”. If a player struggles from anxiety, should a team really be able to put them on the DL? It’s a bailout for a player that isn’t performing on the field! Votto, has been the exception to the rule as he is the only one who was on top of his game when he was placed on the DL. Don’t get me wrong, I feel bad for any player that struggles, but I think it’s a cop out to blame it on a disorder.
I think Vince Young learned this lesson firsthand. If you’re not ready emotionally to play, you may just miss your opportunity completely. No matter who you are there will be people that don’t like you, and fans will get on top of you. That’s just the nature of sports! I don’t think many of them realize how lucky they are. They can just say they’re depressed/have anxiety and take a vacation to figure it out. Plenty of people deal with anxiety; I know I do at times. Don’t tell me that a pitcher (Scott Kazmir), needs a mental break from his issues with his delivery! Talk it out with your shrink or coaches and get back out there. It’s YOUR JOB! If you don’t like being a big league player, maybe you should try something else. I hear there’s no anxiety in golf!


The Sacramento Kings have had many boyfriends aka coaches over the years. There was their first kiss Jerry Reynolds, the one-night stand Bill Russell, the older man Dick Motta,
their first real relationship Garry St. Jean, and their first black guy Eddie Jordan. Then came Rick Adelman. The two were together for eight magical years and many thought they would spend the rest of their lives together. The Kings went from undesirable to Prom Queen (ahem, King) during their time with Adelman. Then they got greedy. Thinking they were hot, they ditched Adelman in hopes of doing better. There was the rebound Eric Musselman but his drinking and jealousy became too much. Then they went for looks by getting involved with Reggie Theus. Ultimately, that didn’t work out either. After messing around with Kenny Natt for a few months, the Kings found themselves single and unwanted again. Not wanting to spend the upcoming season alone, it was time to find a new man. At this point, the Kings have been around the proverbial block a few times. They’re not the bombshell they used to be. The options are not as plentiful as they once were. They basically had just three prospects who would possibly take them, once Eddie Jordan wisely decided he had been there, done that. Tom Thibodeau wisely deleted the Kings number from his cell phone, realizing they would never work out. Kurt Rambis was not ready to give up his much hotter and wealthier woman to get involved with the Kings. That left just one guy…. Paul Westphal.

The Kings are now like that friend you have that’s in a relationship, even though you know they aren’t meant to be together. They clearly just don’t want to be alone, or spend the time looking for a better partner. You know who I’m talking about. We all know them. We all know the Kings should’ve married their high school sweetheart, Adelman, but he’s happily engaged to an Asian now, so he would never be stupid enough to leave that. Westphal and the Kings are now an official couple, but we’ll see how long before one finds greener pastures and let’s the other go. It’s only a matter of time.
The A’s have shown signs of life the past few weeks, and I’ve wanted to write a post ripping them for this uninspired season thus far, but they just wouldn’t let me do it. The last two weeks they’ve won seven of their last twelve! So my assumption is they didn’t want me to write about how crappy their season has been going. I guess, since they are in the midst of their 2nd three game winning streak of the season, I will have to ease up on some of my feelings towards this miserable start, but for the most part it’s been about as bad as it could be…
During the first series of the year, I wanted to go to two of the four games that were in Anaheim. One of the games I went to was a come from behind win in the 9th, where they scored 3 runs in the 8th and 3 in the 9th to win the game 6-4. I was so excited that I ended up buying the MLB.com package to watch every game I could on my computer when time permitted. The second game was cancelled to the Adenhart tragedy. Little did I know that this would be their only exciting game to watch over the next month and a half. Aside from
Mike Ryan Sweeney’s amazing grabs in the outfield, that was about the only positive feeling I had after watching them. The offense was so bad at one point, I wouldn’t even want to look at the box score because there would be six or seven guys hitting under .200!
I WAS excited about the players that they had signed over the offseason, because it was really the first time in two years that they really seemed like they were trying to compete in the west. Many people told me that we were signing too many old players, but I didn’t really care! I was just pumped to see them actually making off-season moves that didn’t involve (insert Oakland’s best pitcher/hitter) for (three major league ready MINOR LEAGUE PLAYERS)! No wonder the Rivercats are always so good… Well, here’s my understanding of what is going on with some of the players that I was convinced during the off-season would make the A’s a force in the AL West.
be our big bat in the middle of the order. Observing him closely through the first month of the year (probably even a little more because he was on my fantasy team) I noticed one main theme. He looked like Pedro Serrano from Major League, as he constantly swung at bad pitches that weren’t even hittable. I wonder if he ever watched video of himself, because if they kept a stat for swings at a bad pitch out of the strike zone, Holliday would have one per at bat! Holliday’s thought process when he goes to the plate must be something to the extent of, “Cmon Matt, hit a bomb! Swing as hard as you can at the next pitch no matter where he throws it! Then grimace and tap the bat barrel on your head.” It really makes me wonder how he could have ever won two out of three triple-crown categories in one season. I guess Coors is truly the ultimate hitters’ park, I am a believer! I can’t say I’ve been impressed with anything he’s done this year! Ok, Ok he has turned it around lately, and I truly hope he proves me completely wrong! I hope I praise him and he inspires me to write up an MVP ballot for him, but he’s got to prove that to me. The whole “not mind being traded thing”, nope, not getting into it today…
root for him watching him play for the Angels and Red Sox, but I’m slowly adjusting. One thing is for sure, he has been playing like an unhappy guy (.225 BA). It’s probably like when I was answering customer calls for Oakley (I really hated the job), but I needed to work, so you just do what you gotta do. I just hope something snaps him out of his funk. I’ve watched way too much Angels baseball over the past few years living in Southern California, and when he was in Anaheim he always looked like he was having fun. In Oakland he’s had the someone just told me a relative died look on his face for nearly every game. If I was playing as bad as him, I’d probably have that look on my face too. I’ll tell you what O-Cab, we’re unhappy with your play so far this year, you need to step it up!
couple! Oh yeah, have to mention Mazzaro’s first gem in his first career start going 6 1/3 shutout innings only giving up two hits on Tuesday. Anderson and Cahill, the other two of the “big three” young guys, have pitched well on and off. Our bullpen has a lot of “live arms”. I really do like our pen, we’re full of guys with closer stuff. Between Bailey, Ziegler, Casilla, and Wuertz (even Breslow) we should be able to hold a lot of leads, if we can actually get them!I feel at this point there’s no way to go but up! I’m finally content with the way the A’s are playing as winning will cure everything. I’m crossing my fingers that the team on the field over the last two weeks is what people were making a big fuss over during the off-season. They need to be within 5 games of first by the All-Star break or it’s going to be time for this year’s fire sale! First on the block, (Matt Holliday) for (Three major league ready minor league players). I hope this day doesn’t happen too soon, as I’m just starting to get into it again!
Back to back National Champions…. 60 game win streak…. and Bill Russell. “The second best team in the country was USF’s second string”
Many people haven’t seen this movie. You’re trippin. It’s a classic. Behold….
Where South Park meets the NFL. John Tayman, the creator of Bang Cartoons, has been making comical cartoons of our favorite players, coaches, announcers, and executives across the NFL since 2003. He writes, draws, and speaks for 99% of the characters in his cartoons. I have to say, I never envisioned Al Davis as a rapper!
Plenty of players have come across his cartoons, even Terrell Owens and Kellen Winslow thought the skits making fun of their mishaps were funny. He started making the videos, because he felt that people take sports way to seriously! He wanted to lighten the mood, and show the mishaps of these sports figures when they aren’t placed up on the “pedistal”. Check some of them out they are pretty funny or atleast the ones from your favorite team!
The Texas Longhorns were part of the longest game in NCAA baseball history which lasted 25 innings. What was more amazing is that Austin Wood came in to the game as a reliever for Texas with one out in the 7th. He stayed in the game and threw 13 scoreless innings. He threw 12.1 innings without even giving up a hit. His final line was two hits, four walks, and fourteen strikeouts. He threw 169 pitches over the 13 innings. Wood also threw two scoreless innings the previous night! He logged another 30 pitches in that effort. After the game, Augie Garrido, Longhorns Coach, kept saying “He said he felt good, so we left him out there. He didn’t feel tired so we kept letting him pitch. He was unhittable.”
Now, I’m not an expert about how pitching arms work, but there is no way you can convince me that throwing nearly 200 pitches over two days isn’t a lot! That’s not including warmups in the bullpen and side work! He may have been on a roll, but would you risk some kids
future by overworking him in college? This kid sounds like he’ll at least have a shot in minor league ball, and who knows one day maybe make it up to the MLB. Would it be the coaches fault if this kid’s arm falls apart in a couple of years? I would probably blame myself if I was that coach! Who knows maybe he’s so old school of a coach he knows what he’s doing. I think he definitely should have had some type of moral responsibility for putting Wood’s future in front of the game at hand. Here’s the box for the game.